My Horoscope: Make sure you're not so caught up in the race you forget why you're running.

When I read the Leo horoscope yesterday, I had to do a double take. It said, "Make sure you're not so caught up in the race you forget why you're running," Wow, that is a bit freaky!! Why would my horoscope have anything to do with running? I have never seen it refer to that topic before. It gave me pause for thought, almost like it was a personal message just to me.

I am running for two reasons, one because I want to be fit and prepared for the upcoming half marathon. But the biggest reason is, I have for many years admired my daughter's commitment, discipline and overall good attitude. I attribute all of those things to her running. I have always wanted to have some of what she has, so I decided to go for it.


You say, that's not hard, just start running. It's not so easy, you see I am a couch loving, TV watching, popcorn with butter eating, could be but refuse to be a card carrying member of AARP....for me, it is a huge stretch. I am one of those who goes on a diet in the AM and is completely frustrated by the same PM that I have not lost any weight. I know I have not lost any weight, because I have weighed myself at least four times during the day to check. When I exercise, I immediately start looking for the change it is making in my body. I mean after the first session, I am looking hard into a mirror for some sign of benefit. My body hurts like it should be working, but the abdominal jiggling indicates otherwise.


At my age, change is slow, even when you work at it a lot. One of my other daughters, Terry's twin sister, started back to running a few weeks ago. Tonight she reports a loss of twelve pounds. I had a little salt on my food at lunch today, so tonight I am showing a gain of a pound and a half. This makes me feel so discouraged. Why is it taking me so long to show any improvement? Not only that, why is it taking so long for me to be able to run any distance without feeling like I need a life line button attached to me to summon for immediate help?


I need to go back to the point of it all, I need to pay heed to my horoscope. I am not in it to weigh a certain number, or to be able to run a determined distance. I am in it to get fit, to be more emotionally balanced, to feel better about myself. I am in it to be able to participate in the half marathon, not set a record. I am in it to maintain what I have today, so I can be here tomorrow. The only reason I even think about these things is because I have a daughter who has shown me what I can do if I put forth the effort. If I keep my eye on her and the goal, I will see this through while continuing to be totally....inspired by my daughter.

"Don't Stop Believin"

Today is the start to a new week, a week that puts me that much closer to the day! The day is Saturday, February 6, 2010. The day of the race for which I prepare. I know I am in the early stages of preparation, and that it is normal to have some self doubt, but I am obsessing about it. Have I been too aggressive with myself on this? Will I be able to pull it together by the first week of February? It seems my progress has been in baby steps. If it takes me as long to run two miles as it is taking me to run one, a lifetime won't be long enough to have me ready to run 13.1 miles.

I have been doing a short exercise video and have been riding my bike in conjunction with the walk/running routine. I have done this in effort to strengthen my legs. I want them to work better than they have been. At this stage of the program when I run there is no grace, no form, little coordination and lots of strain(I had to up my Botox injections by a month, all the grimacing just wore it off). I find my legs when fatigued take on movement which is totally disconnected from my head. They become so flimsy and jelly like, it feels almost like they are full of Xylocaine(numbing medication). At these times I never know if each step will land on the bottom of my foot or the side of my ankle. I am sure it mimics a neurological movement disorder.

I have found that listening to music does serve somewhat as a motivator to keep my pace up. You have to play the right tunes though. Something that will take your mind off your chest and that feeling of pending cardiac explosion. I have found the sound track from the new TV show Glee works extraordinarily well. I was hardly moving today when the song "Don't Stop Believin" with the Glee cast came on my iPOD. I turned the volume up to the point my brain was so full of music, there was no room for negative thoughts or feelings of pain. I started mouthing words and soon found myself moving more fluidly and freely. By the end of the song, I was singing as loud as I could, running wide open, pumping my arms up in the air like a moved Christian choir member while doing an occasional spin in the middle of the road.......okay, so that is a bit of an exaggeration, but the music does honestly help. It is nice to know that iTunes and my dermatologist will be profiting from this adventure, as I am guessing I will utilize them both.

I have to admit some progress. I have stopped cursing due to soreness when I bend to get in and out of the car, I have reverted to saying "God please help me". I still hold on to the daily encouragement of my Facebook friends, Blog followers and my family to get me through, and of course by now it goes without saying, I remain......inspired by my daughter.